My small Danish wedding

Seeing this title you might think that my European peregrinations of the past several years might have had something to do with my personal life, a subject that has been noticeably absent in my blog content. But the fact that I even have a personal life to discuss at this point is actually as a *result* of those travels, a nearly incredible coincidence of timing, opportunity, and a strong personal interest in of all things…fountain pens. And the result is that I have just married an amazing man and we have made this happen in a most amazing way.

T is German, but he lives in Italy. I am, of course, American, currently resident in…Berlin. When we began discussing matrimony, we quickly learned that the bureaucratic requirements in both Italy and Germany were substantial and both countries upped the ante considerably when multiple nationalities were involved. But I’m a pretty clever little monkey when it comes to online research, and during my electronic rambles I stumbled onto a very interesting fact, and that is that Denmark, bless its practical and tolerant little heart, is literally the “Las Vegas” of Europe.

And I’m not talking casinos and pink flamingos here. What I mean is that Denmark makes it easy to “tie the knot” for people from just about anywhere to people from just about anywhere (folks from Laos, I’m told, have had difficulty). You can do it yourself or you can hire the assistance of an agency that specializes in this area; we were fortunate to receive the tender mercies of Samantha at gettingmarriedindenmark.com. In short, all you need to prove is that 1.) you are alive and legal (passport and residency); 2.) you are over 18 (or under with parental consent) and and 3.) your former spouse, if you had one, is either deceased or divorced. That’s it. Full stop. The kicker is, of course, that you have to *go to Denmark* from wherever you are. Once in that happy land, there are several locations one can choose, and for a number of reasons, we picked the little island of Ærø, and it turns out *a lot* of other people do as well.

Ærø is a small island lying between Denmark and Germany, some 20 kilometers long and maybe three wide, with around 6500 souls in residence and three little towns. You can get there by way of three ferries. The village of “Ærøskøbing, with its narrow lanes and picturesque 18th-century houses was historically Ærø’s chief town,” and is currently THE spot for….the nearly 4000 couples (yes, 4000 couples) who will be united in matrimony there this year alone, according to the local authorities.

Picturesque indeed

This is how it works. You arrive on the island on one day, present your papers to the wedding office, and receive a time for the following day when your ceremony will occur. This requires that you spend at least one overnight on the island, with the resulting monies improving the local economy. The concept itself was the brainchild of the current mayor, an outgoing and enterprising soul if ever there were one, who came up with this idea as a way to radically extend the shoulder season of a holiday island that’s really only appealing for six weeks in the summer.

We were slightly dismayed to learn that the municipal office complex was considerably less visually compelling than the rest of the town, but sic transit gloria mundi:

Probably easier to heat

As you walk into the building, you are greeted by the comforting faces of Denmark’s reigning monarch and her consort, Margrete and Henrik, themselves a bi-national couple (Danish and French) and a bit of a scandal in their day:

Best wishes

Once inside, there is a very friendly and efficient office crew that has processed your documents and can affirm all the things that need to be affirmed:

Note signs for essential support services for brides and grooms…WC and WIFI

But here’s where the story gets much, much more interesting. Through those doors and into this office walk some extremely diverse couples and and no doubt equally intriguing stories. Although we were only there a short period of time, we saw…a German woman in hijab marrying a Tunisian man in tuxedo accompanied by her weeping mother; an African woman with her German groom, complete with her two African children and one blended child, all decked out in full white and sparkled splendor; a young Asian woman in a ballet tutu marrying her Anglo groom; a group of Turks from Berlin where it wasn’t at all clear who was marrying whom, and several other less dramatic couples, including ourselves together with three of T’s relatives who were adventurous enough to come along for the ride. The authorities told us they would marry 24 couples in the office that day, with eight other weddings taking place around the island on this chilly rainy April Friday.

Well, this is all well and good, you say, but where’s the story about you, Carla?

After this somewhat common-place waiting room, I was concerned that the service itself would feel like a car wash or an automat, but in this I was delightfully surprised. Once inside the wedding room itself, we were greeted by a lovely judge and two “hostesses” (they doubled as the witnesses) and a gracious interior with rugs and paintings. The judge herself was quite charmingly surprised that she was actually marrying an American…with a strong Danish name and a family history in the area. She offered the ceremony in three languages, and we chose English. The words were few but very thoughtful and sincerely presented (and received). As non-Danes, we weren’t permitted a religious ceremony even if we wanted (which we didn’t), but the judge wore a gold cross, so maybe the big guy was there “in spirit,” as it were. Here’s proof positive that I have been taken off the shelf again (thanks, Wilson), with T’s brother and his wife, left, in attendance. His niece took the shot:

“Med denne ring tigger du dig…”

Still quivering a bit, we were offered a quick toast of wine or lemonade and a warm congratulations from all present. Soon after, wedding certificates in hand, we passed back through the doors and out into our new life:

Since T and I are minimalists when it comes to all this kind of thing, you’ll probably guess that we didn’t hire a photographer but went with the DIY wedding selfie. Here we are in our hotel room with the lovely bouquet that one of T’s customers sent along to us:

And camera makes three

T’s family spent the day with us, enjoying local offerings both inside and out. But we waved them off on the late afternoon ferry and came back for a quiet evening alone, our first in quite a while, thanks to T’s amazing network of friends and family. We were not disappointed in the gustatory offerings of one of Ærø’s charming dinner spots:

Mission accomplished

May I say here and now that I am most grateful for this astonishing period in my life and the opportunity to pursue my lifelong dreams of travel, teaching, and writing overseas. The addition of T is a kind of dream-like miracle, and one from which I hope I never awake. The world may be writhing around me but I have found, in this moment, a very special place. And I plan to make the most of it. Skål!

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14 Responses to My small Danish wedding

  1. Janet Stebbins says:

    perfect

  2. Pam says:

    A new spring! Love and congratulations! Pam

  3. Mary Tracy says:

    Woohoo! May your happiness and inner peace deepen through the years and adventures that lie ahead!

  4. What a wonderful happy surprise to wake up to this morning! Kit and I wish you all the best – good health, a touch of prosperity, and abundant joy every day of your lives!

  5. alandsberg2015 says:

    You have never looked more beautiful, Carla. Glowing is a good word for what I see. Tears of joy for you from Portland.

  6. Carla, my heartfelt congratulations and wishes for long and happy lives together. Mitch

  7. Rachel Drummond says:

    Oh my squishy heart is exploding for you and the both of you! Thank you for documenting your special day in such delightful detail so that we all could join you for the ride from afar! You just amplified the love in the world in the best way.

  8. Mary Closson says:

    What a joy it was on this rainy Portland morning to soak up the radiance that was your wedding day. It was fascinating to learn all about the little island in Denmark that served as the site for your sweet wedding. I agree with the previous person who posted, “You have never looked more beautiful, Carla.” Indeed, you and Tom both look radiant and representative of the term, “marital bliss.” I’m so incredibly happy for you both and I can’t wait to read more posts about your adventures. Sending love!

  9. kathy says:

    You almost made me feel I was there with your wonderful words. I thought of you this weekend and wish you both so much joy going into this new phase of your life. As an aside, you are a dang good looking couple!

  10. Daria Davis says:

    Carla, you look absolutely radiant! I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look more beautiful! I am so happy for both of you, and for and your new life together! I so wish I could have been there with you – thank you for making me feel like I was! I love you! Hugs and kisses!

  11. Anne says:

    So very you…pragmatic and creative in tandem. Congratulations to you both.

  12. Maura Duffy says:

    What a wonderful and enjoyable account–thank you!

  13. dadlooking says:

    The photo of you holding the flowers next to T warmed my heart. Congratulations and thanks for sharing your special day.

  14. Blair Robertson says:

    Yay! Y’all are so cute together, and if you can do this now, maybe I can too!

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